I never tell a lie...Um, actucally 😅

Autistic people look to others and society when it comes to what to do in a situation, to make sure they fit in with everyone.
I don't know about you but I've always been told that lies are bad and I constantly hate saying lies but the social structure of society constantly contradicts that.
When a friend gets a dress that she loves but to you doesn't suit her, you still say she looks fabulous because of its social convention. (this happened to me and I had to ask another friend who was with me if lying to her was okay.) Its the same with a husband and wife. A husband will say thier wife's dress looks lovely to avoid a bleeding ear.
I remember one time when I fell into the trap and I had no clue how offensive it was or that it actually offended her, until someone told me.
This girl who had obviously dyed her hair a darker brown asked me how it looked and I said ' It look good! It matches you eyebrows'. To me, it was a positive comment but it turned out it wasn't.

Sadly, we cannot always see the negatives in our speech or comments which leads us to harm people without realizing it. This then leads us to follow the stereotypic structure of society that stops us from harming people without realizing it and allows us to not constantly worrying if we offended them.

We say 'yes, that dress looks fabulous" not "the color looks great on you but the shape just doesn't suit you".

I however constantly wonder if that's the right thing to do.
So today its always a tossup on what to do.
For me, I always want to hear the truth, even if it hurts because I can then rectify that problem or thing. Today I often answer the question by avoiding answering the question.

Eg.
 "I love how the sequins on that dress sparkle, they catch the light beautifully and there making cute little reflective dots on your arms"
This is the truth and at the same time, she comments with the comment to realize that I avoided the question. I've just avoided the full truth.

A child often states the truth, until they realize they can lie.
We just don't do it until we learn that it harms people and even then some autistic people will continue to tell the truth. While others lie through there teeth because it protects them from getting fowl glances and keeps them safe.